REST式的 生命影響生命

*「 起承轉合」方法: "當你回望過去發生的事情( 起)，及反思事情發生的因果及當時的感受( 承), 你可以更加了解自己(承), 因而作思維和價值的更新(轉), 要為走前面人生路的計劃做得好(合), 策略實踐得好, 和進度可以跟進(合)"

*引導「羊兒」
-連結過去、現在 (起、承)、 將來 (轉、合) ... 生命故事要繼續寫下去!
-一步步傳遞「 起承轉合」思維. 是生命的見證、示範, 不只是教導、引導
-用「 起承轉合」講生命故事就是傳福音

(1)「起」= R = Recollection of incidents in the past (追溯歷史, 回憶以往的發展和成績)
-回憶人生路的what, when, where, who
-可從不同起步點追溯
-提醒從前經歷多未必好, 可能是迷失

(2) 「承」= E = Enlightenment through reflection (從反思經歷得新啟發, 更加了解自己)
-在成敗、得失、升跌、離合的過程中--當時的反應 ((不)面對、(不)接受、情緒等); 酸甜苦辣的感受
-為更加了解自己--哲學、性格、強弱項、恩賜、熱忱等
-為克服心理障礙; 接受(神的)醫治; 接受有一些路不能走回頭
-了解經歷可能是神塑造生命; 要尋求 神的旨意、召命; 每個生命是獨特的

(3) 「轉」= S = Shifting the paradigms (範式轉換: 悔改、心意更新、價值改變)
-不跟隨世界價值. 從神看成功、事業、資產、回報、婚姻、豐盛生命
-立志忘記過去不好的東西; 要識得放手 , 要改過

(4) 「合」= T = Tracking actions planned and taken (行動計劃與追踪)
-連結由上而下(使命、召命)思維和由下而上行動 (個人管理) ; 不只說「願神帶領」
-連結路徑 : 事業(career life)、私人(private life)、社會責任(society life) . 不聖俗二分化
-定標竿, 改變習慣、角色等; 向著標竿直跑 (腓 利 比 3:13-14)
-為達目標, 執行, 駕駛, 聖靈的帶領, 監控
-不用太急要「羊兒」行「合」這步. 要先在「起、承、轉」建立基礎

*REST 式生命影響生命獨特之處
-不僅在個別事件上作影響，是在「羊兒」生命(故事) 作影響: 活得更豐盛（約十 : 10）
-影響者相信「起承轉合」這方法, 和在個人「轉」後有活出豐盛生命的經歷
-為人父母可以用這方法啟發和影響子女 (也有建議要開始一個 "REST for parents"組)
-除「單對單」幫助「羊兒」外, 也可以帶他到REST小組, 為生命影響生命

Remembering Benny (Part 2) (by Charles Lam, dated 4th January 2010)

Benny appreciated Peter Drucker greatly and understood his thoughts thoroughly. After digesting thoughts of him and other authors, Benny generated and advocated his own management thoughts and models--making a living/career while making a life, restful work, life asset management, MeInc, Free Agent, brand image building, marketplace discipleship, ‘David Star’ Model, Capital Investment Spiral Model--to name a few .
In his private life, Benny was my Christian brother and friend as we joined social functions and trail-walked together. He was my host when I visited his home where he made some tea for me, after which he became my student when I started to teach him some reflexology skills.
The more our friendship grew, the more I knew that he had touched and added value to lives of so many people, from all walks of life, from young to old, from his own children to students he had taught decades earlier. This explains why in his last journey on earth, so many had expressed their concern and love. To them, Benny must be a very special and valuable person.
As I am expressing my respect, admiration and love for Benny, my heart feels comfort, for he has beautifully fulfilled verses “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness..” (2 Timothy 4 : 7-8). To thank what Benny have made impact on me, I will try my best to live out verses that he often mentioned, such as John 10: 10 (on living an abundant life), 2 Timothy 2: 2 (on disciple making), John 4 : 13-14 (on searching for water). I will increase efforts to enrich the story telling-based REST ministry that he created.

Remembering Benny (by Charles Lam, dated 4th January 2010)

I first met Benny in March 2003, in a talk he gave on life management skills organized by The Oaks. Since then, we had a few hundred hours of communications and working together, including numerous Canada-Hong Kong calls. I know that most people call him Uncle Benny or ‘Dou Suk’ , but he wanted me to call him ‘Benny’.
In this part of my life, he has played many roles and I have enjoyed every one of them.
Benny was my life coach in giving me guidance and correcting my mistakes. I became his disciple in forming a story-telling based REST (renewal, empowerment, support network, transformation) Group which is still running today. He was my mentor when I received his spiritual advice and encouragement to form my unique ministry; also my teacher when I took courses that he led at HKPES.
Benny was my colleague when we taught a ‘Learn to learn’ course together at Christian Times. We were learning partners when we explored and sometimes debated about management thoughts. I was also his business partner in the promotion of his book published in October 2006.
Whole-heartedly I have admired Benny’s passion and talents in writing his blog messages and mind-maps, practicing life long learning so wonderfully. He could scan worldwide changes quickly, and sensitively detect and absorb information most relevant to specific organizational and personal needs. Benny was therefore a genuine ‘action learner’ who could successfully link theory with practice.
..........(to be continued)..........

Life coaching: love if not appreciated becomes a nuisance

A man’s daughter and her boyfriend want to ride a boat to explore the sea. But they do not know that the boat is in a poor condition and that they are not well prepared for the sea which could become rough any time.

The father tells the daughter and her boyfriend to check the boat carefully first and to make adequate preparations for facing uncertainties. “At least, make sure that the navigation system is working properly”, the father says. The lovers are irritated as they see that their joy and excitement are being quenched. She tells her father, “We do not fear, because we know God will protect and guide us.”

The father, who has gone through rough seas in his life, speaks again out of love, “I am not against your plan to ride together, but don’t you think you are making an important decision too quickly, out of emotion?” She answers, “We can decide for ourselves and know our timing best.” The lovers then ignore the father and start to pack for their journey meaningful to them.

I hope that the above story will develop in a way the three persons and God are happy with.

As a reader, you may appreciate the difficulty in facing similar conflicts—a child shouts loudly at her mother : “you don’t love me!” when she can’t eat as much chocolates as she wants; a teenager quarrels or even fights with his parent because he is not allowed to play his computer games before finishing his homework; etc. Love-driven guidance is often seen as a barrier to their freedoms.

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength; for waging war you need guidance, and for victory many advisers. (Prov. 24:3-6). However, life coaching will be difficult if the parties involved do not view the ‘coaching-coached’ relationship the same way.

Jesus says, "If you hold to My teaching, you are really My disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:31-32). It is my hope that persons involved in a coaching process is based on such truth, or else, love could be seen as a nuisance.

Written by Charles

email : charles155@gmail.com

twitter : twitter.com/charles155

Life story telling to inspire the next generation

Dr Charles Lam is conducting (in December 2009) a four-session course held at Christian Times (時代論壇) as follows:

Course title: Life story telling to inspire the next generation

Are you concerned about your children, relatives, students or your‘sheep’ who are currently lost in the rapidly changing environments? Seeing that they are weak, short-sighted, insensitive to threats and unable to manage themselves, what more could you do than being compassionate and praying anxiously for them? In order to get away from a difficult situation, apart from giving whatever encouragement that is needed, we should give each one of them a ‘map’and a ‘compass’, so that he/she can walk his/her life path with a clear direction and faith.

Telling the life story of oneself (or of another person) is an effective and lively way to communicate and inspire in the process of life planning and management. Typically, a life story consists of four stages : (1) records of development and achievements so far (2) analysis of reasons for what have happened and reflection on feelings, which call for change (3) paradigm shifts in a person’s value system, which lead to inside-out changes (4) action planning --setting concrete objectives and targets and preparing for steering.

The speaker will apply modern management concepts and models and real-life situations during the teaching. He is currently leading a life story-driven group called REST.

課程名稱 : 用講生命故事來啓發下一代

發覺你所關心的子女、親人、學生或「羊」正在變幻環境中迷失嗎? 見到他們的軟弱、短視、缺乏危機感和自我管理能力, 你除了傷心、着急和為他們禱告外, 還有什麼方法呢? 走出困境, 除了在個別處境激勵外, 還要有「地圖」、「指南針」, 給他們方向、策略和信心去走人生路。講述自己(或他人)的生命故事是一個有效而生動的溝通方法, 因而啓發生涯策劃。故事的四個階段是 : (1)「起」--故事的發展 (開始、轉捩點) 和 成績 (回顧成、敗、得、失) (2)「乘」--分析在發展中的感受和環境關係, 是「轉」的呼聲 (3) 「轉」--心意更新, 準備變革 : 什麽是成功、事業、投資與回報、豐盛等 (4) 「合」-- 面對挑戰, 續步向標桿跑, 做個好司機。

講者會用管理思維、模式、真實個案講解。他現今帶領由生命故事主導的小組。