Below is part of a letter written by my friend Melvyn Wong in his ministry. I have chosen it to post at my blog (permission obtained) because it addresses a common problem: conflicts between parents and children caused by Christian actions that are not empowered by an inside-out change. ‘Good deeds’ have then become nothing but cosmetic behaviour.
I am using a few sentences in English to summarise his message. A woman who works hard everyday for supporting the family explains (in anger) why she does not go to church: her daughter is very active participating in church activities, helping others, preparing food for fellowship friends, etc. but hardly spends time with the family as if it is a hostel, and treats her (the woman) as a stranger. The woman therefore hates the church; she thinks that it has stolen her daughter from her. The author further explains that both loving God and loving parents are commands of God.
……有一天晚上參加完了教會的祈禱會，在等公共汽車回家時，遇見一位挑著水果販
賣的婦人，年齡大約50多歲，她的籮中有賣剩的水果，她看見我們留意她，便向我們
兜售餘下的水果，自動給我們很便宜的價錢，我們便全買下來了。我們亦與她搭訕起
來，問她有到過教會沒有，她說沒有，也不打算前往，我們再追問原由，她才幽怨地
娓娓道來，原來她有一個年青的女兒，非常勤奮的在教會參加團契，在家時常準備很
多很好吃的食物帶回教會與弟兄姊妹分享，但媽媽卻沒有份兒。她的女兒除了回家睡
覺、常用電話與人交談之外，甚少與媽媽交談，母女之情淡如水，因此她恨教會，因
為她把女兒搶走了，我們與她交談中，明顯看見她恨女兒，恨教會的眼神，我們心中
也戚戚然，使我們想起信、望、愛，其中最大的是愛的真理！
其實人與人的關係是要建立在愛的根基上，完全的愛包括道義的愛與感情的愛，
道義的愛就是愛家中各人，尤其是父母，這份愛是要付出物資供應，使父母不用擔憂
勞苦，在道義之愛之外，便要付出感情的愛，在物資供應之外，還要常與父母交談，
噓寒問暖，關懷他們的起居飲食，這是一份心靈的事奉。道義的愛再加上感情的愛才
是完備的愛，是永不止息的。這與聖經的教導也吻合，我們守神的約和傳福音是道義
的愛，弟兄姊妹要彼此相愛就是感情的愛。愛神愛人（包括在上的父母、祖父母）就
是完備的愛，是永不止息的！…….
文謙上 (Melvyn Wong)
3月9日 (2010)
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